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The Best Cup of Coffee that We Never Had or No Cup for Joe

I had been looking forward to our season-opening camping trip to the Philadelphia / West Chester KOA for months.  Our camping buddies had booked the site next to us (same as last year) and I had spent the week before messing around in the RV and getting ready.  At one point I shot a text message to buddy Joe:

"Dude, next weekend when we go camping Im gonna make you the best cup of coffee youve ever had in your life."

He responded succinctly, "Deal."

My buddy Joe is something of a camping all-star because he contributes much to our multi-family trips: he cooks pancakes and eggs for breakfast, brings the bait for fishing, and is able to watch four kids at once along the banks of a river while remaining calm (I should mention here that Joe is a police officer.) So I was happy to brag about bringing some super-delicious coffee along for the trip.  And Joe, like me, is almost always willing to partake of a hot cup of the magic elixir--morning, noon, or night.

Over the past year I have become something of a coffee snob.  After not drinking coffee for 35 years I became addicted while trying to stay awake grading Advanced Placement essays for the College Board in Louisville, Kentucky.

I quickly graduated from the hot motor oil served by the College Board, to a fancy Keurig machine, to brewing my own freshly ground coffee in my new ultra-ritzy Bonavita Coffee Machine.  Every week I buy a pound of coffee from either Rook Coffee Roasters in Ocean Township, NJ or Turnstile Coffee Roasters in Belmar, NJ.  Both of these Jersey Shore businesses sell freshly roasted coffee from all over the world at their retail locations or online.  And trust me, its all good.

So I headed over to Rook on the day before the trip and bought a pound of Honduras--one of my new favorites.  When I got home I immediately packed the coffee, the machine, and the filters.  I could already smell the aroma of the coffee brewing in the camper!   The smell of freshly brewed coffee in a RV cant be beat because it easily fills up every nook and cranny of your cozy home away from home.  For those of you java junkies out there in the RV tribe you know what I mean.

The boys woke me up at 5:45 on Saturday morning (like they always do when were camping) and I crawled out of bed and headed directly for that pound of Honduras.  I put the filter in the Mr. Coffee and opened up the bag of beans.  The smell filled the air.  It was warm and delicious.  I could hear the Brandywine River rushing by the campground and I felt as if the warm spring morning itself was opening up its lush, green arms to greet me.  The Woods of Penn are so lovely on a late spring morn!

As I waxed poetic I suddenly realized that I had left my little coffee bean grinder at home.  Panic. Fear. Shame. Whole bean coffee with no grinder?*#!  I cursed silently at myself.  The magic was gone. The grinder had not been on my camping checklist because I had used the Keurig or pre-ground coffee last season.  All of my hopes and dreams of providing our crew with fresh and delicious coffee to kick off the new camping season were crushed.

In a moment of camping desperation I rifled through the top drawer and found...a cheese grater.  I pulled one lonely bean out of the brown bag and began to grind it against the grater.  I made a quick time/coffee calculation and lost all hope.

I knew that Joe was probably waiting patiently for his "come and get it morning coffee text" which had become a routine last summer.   He would quietly tap on our RV door and I would quietly hand out the steaming brew.  But instead I had to deliver the following doomsday message:

"Brought whole bean coffee with no grinder.  We are screwed..."

Joe responded with good humor as he always does, "LOL."

However, when mommy woke up later she was not amused.  She grumbled a few choice words for me and pulled the blanket back over her face.

Luckily, Joe had already started making blueberry pancakes on the griddle outside.

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